Choices That Aren’t



To see you and have to say goodbye…. or to never see, or hold you again?

The choices that really aren’t a choice.  The choices that both break my soul.

Its always about you B.  I love you so much.


My B.

Sometimes there are moments of perfection in our lives.  Because of circumstance we often find ourselves in a lonely place… and it is here we meet.  It is here we find a solace together.

Talking and listening.  Sharing and engaging.  There is a depth, a warmth.  It is two people who truly know each other.  Whose hearts are in touch and lives are entwined.  It’s two people who can discuss the issues and lighten it with laughter.  It’s two people who can feel the warmth from 3000 miles away and embrace the distance at the same time.

This is what makes us special.  We never gave up.  We never gave in.  We burned with desire and now we simmer with a longing we can never fulfill.  Yet through it all we have the most beautiful thing.

Friendship.  Deep, loving, and beautiful.

We go through all sorts of seasons, but this one I love the best.  And you B.  I love you. ❤️


If Actions Speak Louder…


If actions speak louder than words….

Then I care.

And you don’t.

I am your friend.

But you aren’t mine.

I value time and people.

You value money and only one or two.

So why do I bother?  Why do I try?

I don’t want to be here at all if you don’t want me here.

I don’t want to hurt any more.

But why can’t I let go?

Why can’t I just let you be a part of my past and not of my future.

Its simple really.

My mind plays tricks.

It tricks me into thinking I love you still.

Slowly that love is turning into loved.

Its always about you though B.  No matter how hard I try to move on.

So instead I stay.  Stuck in never never land.