My All


From silence I gather myself,

Accepting I may never hear from you again.

Kisses last sent my only company,

Memories filling my nights with dreams.

Content with the times we had,

Happy because I gave you my all

Then in an instant – you are back…

In the most surprising of ways

I’m in shock

My body paralyzed to the core

My world rocked….

For you – you my love


Have declared your love for me….

A love you always denied,

Because it can never be

But the words –

You could be singing this song straight to my heart.

I’m so broken right now…

I want to run…. to run from you… run from these feelings

Yet, run to you…. to hold you….

My world has fallen at my feet

And taken me with it

My very foundations shaking

Guilt, fear, love, beauty,

What has always been, is now no more – and

All the while… a small voice shouts from deep within

He loves you!  He really does love you!

I love you too B.

Its always about you. xx


It’s Been A While

Dear B,

Its been a while… perhaps that means that everything has been as it should have.  Ebbs and flows in order, and the boat of this ‘us’ gliding along as it does.

Until now.

Until this week.

When you are gone.

I miss you.

Oh how I miss you!  I had forgotten how much.  It sometimes makes me fear for my future.  Because one day our time together will cease.  And I wonder how I will carry on.

Thank you for being you.  For loving me.  For including me in your complicated life.  I love you B.  Near or far, in life as I will in death.  When you stole my heart you stole it fully and completely.  Never to be recovered.  Never to allow anyone else in to our secret spot.  OUR secret spot.

I hope you are relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, the waves, the breeze.  I hope your mind is empty of all things stressful, and full of all things beautiful.

You may be away, but not from my heart.  For you are always there, consuming my thoughts, embracing my dreams.

Hurry up and come back.  Life is a lot less colorful without you.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say, and the longing deeper.  I cling to the day I am in your arms again.  It’s always about you B.

All my love…. xx