Love Hurts

Dear B.

Do you know you are my world?  My moods rise and fall to the beat of your drum… Through distance, time, and the years… ten years in fact… you have been the beat that keeps me moving forward.

And some days it hurts.  Like when you forget ME.  When you don’t make time for ME.  To you, I’m sure you didn’t even remember.  What should I expect after ten years and only one time you have remembered?  But each year, I hold onto hope.  I hold onto promise.

When you forget what is important to me, you  aren’t forgetting an event, you are forgetting ME.  The tears slide down my cheeks again because my heart is crushed.  My soul is raw.  No matter how many walls I try to build, you are already on the inside… and you destroy me in a matter of minutes.

And it hurts.  OH how it hurts.  The saddest part, is that if don’t remember it can only mean I am not important enough to you.

Oh, how I cry out to move on… to move away… to escape the pain.  How I cry out again to hold on, to hold you close, to embrace the bliss.

Why must I love you so?  Why can I just not let go?  Why must my one true love be a heart wrenching roller coaster?

I love you B…. but love isn’t always enough…. 😦



Welcome Home

Dear B,

I’m thinking of you.

A new year, and for you its a lot of letting go.  Saying goodbye to your old way of life, and saying hello to a new one.  Its always sad when we have to let go and trust that everything will be ok.  When someone we love is going to be many miles away.

I haven’t chatted with you for over a month, but as you fly out of where you are today, know you are in my thoughts.  You are in my mind.

And when you leave your home, to come back to your other home….I will be here.  In the wings.  I will support you, I will be your best friend, you can come sit with me.  I will love you..through my lenses, from far away.. but I will give you everything you need to adjust, because love will always find a way.

I love you B.  Welcome home.