Merry Christmas B

img_1924Another year is almost done.  I ask myself why I still long for you.  Why I love you more than you love me?

There are no answers.  It’s just life.  We planned to talk before the week was out and now we won’t.  Our life is reduced to a text message.  A freaking text message.

My heart hurts again. And again. The pain of loving you from afar.  From wanting you in my arms.  From wanting YOU.

When will I accept it’s over? How can I accept what will never be?  I don’t know.

I guess the good thing is that I live my life and no one would ever know my heart is still broken.  It’s my secret.  My secret life.

And so I celebrate.  A year of great friendship and I mourn a life that can never be.

The one consistent – I love you B.  Now and forever.  I love you till it hurts and I will love you if the world falls off its axis.

The best gift I have ever had was your love for me and my love for you.

Even in this season it’s all about you.

Merry Christmas B.  I love you now and forever.

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